October 12, 2010

"Parenthood" is one of my absolute favorite movies. It depicts everyday life, with all of its struggles and possibilities, in a raw, tangible way that is sometimes uncomfortable to watch... and sometimes hysterical. This week has been incredibly difficult. I've struggled with giving life to a blog post, because I've felt completely hollow and void of emotion. I've checked out, opting to not feel. I've let external circumstances dictate my inner ones.

After watching "Parenthood", I was keenly aware of the internal havoc I have brought upon myself recently. It helped me dissect life for what it really is, a theme park comprised of roller coasters. Granted, usually, it is just seen as a roller coaster, but I gave it a little twist. I realize that this is not really a new revelation or comparison, but I desperately needed to be reminded of it, on a small scale and on a grander one. I have been fighting gravity, which, let me tell you... is completely futile. I have been lashing at my seat belt and screaming at the top of my lungs, begging to be let off the ride, but what does being let off the ride really entail anyways? It means a life on the sidelines, holding other people's shit while they ride. Everyday we have a choice to check in or out of the ride, and everyday we check out we inevitably lose out on a thrilling experience. That experience may even be composed of mostly low points with a few twists, but the highs make it so worth it. I am done standing on the sidelines, envying the courage of others. I am tired of checking out for fear of what the drops may do to my stomach or what the darkness of tunnels with unknown durations, paths, and destinations may do to my repairable heart. You really miss out on going to the theme park if you don't ride any of the rides. I want to be able to say I rode every single one of them, and I want to say I did so with a sense of excitement and adventure, not dread and anguish. I want to ride with my hands waving in the air, laughing through the ups and downs the ride hurls me through. I don't want to cling to my harness and close my eyes, anxiously awaiting to just be let off the damn ride. I want to see it all. Thankfully, it's never too late to get off the bench, abandon your baggage things, and run with joyous anticipation to every ride, before the park closes. Don't miss out on any of the rides that the theme park has awaiting you.

The following clip is a gem about "the ride" from "Parenthood". Enjoy.

October 4, 2010

The following post, I originally posted as a Facebook note after a recent thing/break-up (...it has been a month, but who is counting...). I did try to keep my bitter diatribes on romance to a minimum:

I have no idea why I started thinking about Sir Isaac Newton (... but who really knows why I think about the majority of things I think about), and I have come to the conclusion that Newton must have been well-versed in not only physics but in chemistry (...of the heart, that is, clever, I know I know). The following are his Laws of Motion, but for the sake of this note, the Laws of Love:

First Law: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
First Law Notas: I feel this is pretty self-explanatory. I thought the words "unbalanced force" were particularly interesting. I see the "unbalanced force" as love. Some of us are dead and "at rest" until it comes along, sweeps us off our feet, and makes us feel alive. It can be messy and hard (see the next two laws), or it can be passionate and untamed. It is such a strong emotion, and it has the power to tip our scales and catch us off guard. I couldn't have picked a better adjective than "unbalanced" if I had wanted to. Some of us are in motion, and I think perhaps that is even more dismal than being "at rest". It is the ones that are already in motion that don't realize they need a good ole' "unbalanced force" in their life. Complacency is a dangerous thing. The beautiful thing about love is that it can send a person traveling casually along at a leisurely pace to the moon and back with one little push (see the following two laws).

Second Law: Acceleration is produced when a force acts on a mass. The greater the mass the greater the amount of force needed to accelerate the object.
Second Law Notas: Perhaps, this is the trickiest law, and is hardest to contextually see as related to love... but it is. This my friend is when people get involved, and it gets sticky. You are no longer "at rest" or casually walking in motion. You have been pushed by this miraculously terrifying force. This is also where baggage comes in. We all have it, but some of us are just carrying a heavier load than others. This law states that the greater the mass (ie: you+your baggage) the greater the force (love) it will take to move you and your stupid baggage. We are really making it so much harder on love than it needs to be. It wants to send us to the moon and back, and we want to hold on to our crap and dig our heels in. We yell and curse at the wind, and it has to work so much harder to try and get us to move. Luckily, for those with a little junk in the trunk there is HOPE. There just has to be a force that is willing to push you as hard as needed until you budge (...but maybe you could be a dear and not make it so hard on them?). Conversely, it can be just dangerous to be as light as a feather (note: "can be"). A little love can send your featherlight-self tumbling through the wind with no assurance of where you will land. That is a scary scary thing, but I admire and envy the courage of you feathers. The question begs, is it better to be a feather or a lard ass?

Third Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Third Law Notas: This one is my favorite, but it is a whole lot more complicated than the first two (...probably why it is my favorite). This is the "relationship". You are no longer dead weight. You have been moved by that lovely uncontrollable force, and now what do you do? Whatever you want, unfortunately. You have been carried by the wings of love, and it is your time to act. You were lucky enough to get through the first two laws, but buckle your seatbelt because this one is the real ride. Every action you take causes a reaction in the one you love's life. You are now accountable for how you treat that person. Every action you take will cause a reaction in your loved one and vice versa. A relationship is give and take. I looked at an illustration for this one, and I am attaching the photo. You will see a girl with her feet planted on the ground pushing a basketball into the air. You will also see the same girl with roller skates on pushing the ball into the air while she moves backwards. There are a million different ways you could interpret this because love is complicated (...just like physics), but I am choosing this simple explanation. In a relationship, it is important to keep your feet grounded. If you lose that precious balance of give and take (friction), you inevitably will fall on your face. Don't take the ones you love for granted.

Newton was a wise man.

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October 3, 2010

I have spent a great deal of time contemplating the ease at which others seem to sail through life. The saying, "like a fish out of water," has always felt more familiar to me than I sometimes care to admit. I am at best a contradiction. I can be neurotic and flighty. My brain usually feels something like a pot that has begun to boil over. My mind has always made sense of things I don't understand through the use of analogies, and I thought that no title would be a more appropriate fit for my blog than,"Sarah:Earth::Fish:Sky."

I am still unsure what the purpose of my blog will be. It may just be an outlet for every thought or whim I have to take a concrete form. I have always enjoyed writing as an outlet, but I hope that this little blog will amount to a little more than a public journal. I want to write with purpose and aim. My goal is to write weekly, but I hope to indulge myself more when possible. Be patient with me while I figure out the technicalities of blogging, I promise it will be worth it.